Archive for October 7, 2009

Fistbump

Title: Deadpool #16
Writer: Daniel Way
Art: Paco Medina and Juan Vlasco
Publisher: Marvel (A’DOY!)
Price: $2.99 (Seems reasonable)

I guess some of you have been harassing Elliott on our video channel to review Deadpool. Though we have reviewed Deadpool a few times in the past for whatever reason Elliott doesn’t feel like doing it again. Don’t know what crawled up his ass and died to make him completely not want to review the title anymore but that’s ok. Why? Because I happen to buy and read Deadpool. Now I can do a review of it so he doesn’t have to. Lucky you.

To recap the last few issues: Deadpool wanted to be a pirate, he did some pirating, then he got bored with it, went to San Francisco to find a new lot in life and has now decided to join the X-Men. The comic opens up with…What’s going on here? You doing yet another review for a Marvel book? Please. Um..ya, I’m reviewing the new Deadpool. Is that cool? Not really. Why don’t you review something different for a change like, maybe, the new Seth “George Sprott HC” which collects his strips form New York Times Magazine or the new issue of From the Ashes by Bob Fingerman? Because people having been asking Elliott to do a Deadpool reivew on our yout…Who? Is Elliott that dullard you know who writes that Evil Dead/Osama comic? Army of Darkness/Obama, ya, that’s him. How can that guy call himself a “comic writer” with a straight face? Can I get on with this review please? If you must.

So, like I was saying, the comic opens up with…HEY DOODS! WATCHA DOIN’? Ah, fuck, Ah, fuck. YOU REVIEWING SOMETHING 4 THE BLOG? WHAT’S THIS? DEADPOOL?! WHY AREN’T YOU REVIEWING THE NEW BENDIS COMIC? ULTIMATE SPIDEY #3 CAME OUT TODAY AND IT WAS F’N CRESENT FRESH. LOLOLOL. NO, 4 REALZ, IT WAS AWESOME. MYSTERIO WA…Man, don’t you have something else you can be doing right now? Seriously, don’t you have to “prawn some newbies” or the like? THAT’S “PWN SOME NOOBZ” DBAG AND NO, I DON’T. I JUST GOT DONE PLAYING ODST FOR LIKE 15 HOURS STRAIGHT. ALL THIS NO-DOSE I TOOK AND ALL THIS MOUNTIAN DEW CODE RED I DRANK STILL HASN’T WORN OFF. I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN LIKE 3 DAYS AND I THOUGHT I WOULD REVIEW THE NEW BENDIS COMIC AND LET ALL THE FANBOYZ KNOW IT IS CRAZY GOOD. Look, if there is any review going on it should at least be of the new Kill Audio book. I normally wouldn’t stoop so low as to talk about a Boom Studios comic but I have a feeling that is as “indie” as it’s going to get around here. I will review Kill Audio in a couple of days. I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet. KILL AUDIO SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY LAME TITLE. IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE. IS IT ABOUT SOMEBODY TRYING TO KILL SOUND? THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. LOLOLOLOL. Look. Can I please just review this book. I promise I will review Kill Audio later this week and I’ll let you do your Ultimate Spider-Man review tomorrow. Deal? Sounds satisfactory. WHATEVS. I THINK I’LL GO SEE THAT “I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL” FLICK. MY BUDDY DP WAS TELLING ME HOW GOOD IT WAS. L8TR TARDS.

Anyway…The book starts off with Deadpool asking the X-Men if he can join the team and Cyclops responds with a resounding “Hell No.” After Wade leaves Dagger has a conversation with Mr. Summers where she says the following about Cyclops not letting Deadpool join:

Dagger: Look around, almost half the people here (referring to the X-Men) have checkered pasts. Doesn’t rejecting this Deadpool guy make us, I dunno, hypocrites?

After feeling guilty about his decision Cyclops decides to let Deadp…Sounds quite touching for a Marvel Comic. Sigh… You agreed to…I agreed to nothing. Besides I was just giving you my two cents worth. WHOA! NOW THAT I’M LOOKING THROUGH THIS COMIC I CAN SEE WHY YOU LIKE IT. THIS PACO GUY DRAWS SOME SWEET CHICKS WITH HUGE BOO…Fuck you guys. I’m out of here. Oh, how unfortunate for your “readers“. YA, HOW UN4TUN8. HEY, DID U READ HULK LAST WEEK DOOD? Umm..no. 4 REALZ? DOOD, IT WAS AWESOME. JEPH LOEB IS DA MAN. ACTUALLY , NOW THAT I THINK OF IT I NEVER DID MY SECOND PART 2 THE REVIEW. It was probably for the best. I read your first part. It really was quite ridiculous. How old are you? Eight? I’M 18 DICKWAD. Same difference. Have you ever read Acme Novelty Library? NO. I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF IT. THE COMIC SHOP SHOP I GO 2 ONLY CARRIES MARVEL AND DILDO COMIX. THE OWNER SAYS THAT IS THE ONLY STUFF WORTH CARRYING. Uh huh, you don’t say. I was only tolerating you while J. was around so I’m leaving. My girlfriend wanted to borrow my Artbabe comics so I think I’ll go take them over to her now. AW YEAH MAN! YOU GETTING SOME POON 2, RIGHT? You really are a dreadful creature.

J.

Did Anyone Go to This?

Posted: October 7, 2009 in Geek Culture, Humor
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