Archive for March 4, 2010

It’s been too long since I last wrote a review for this blog. I have actually been working more lately as well as being busier than usual and that’s why things on the blog have been a bit sparse. I am going to try my damnedest to remedy that fact in the next couple of days. I will be doing more of these capsule reviews in the future and until I can come up with a definite CCW style rating system this will have to do for now:

Rating System:
**** : Excellent
*** : Good
** : Fair
* : Poor
Zero : Horseshit

Title: Invincible Iron Man #24
By: Matt Fraction and Salvador Larroca

Though this was yet another solid issue of IIM, I do have to say that this issue kinda felt like the story was just going through the motions and that’s because we all know pretty much know how the story ends already. We learned of Ghost’s fate in last week’s Thunderbolts and we also know that Tony Stark will indeed become Iron Man again so he can join the Avengers for a new #1 issue in May. None the less Fraction’s story still managed to hold my interest up until the final “twist” reveal at the end.

The first 24 issue of Matt Fraction’s Invincible Iron have been all about “fixing” Tony Stark after Brian Bendis and Mark Millar did a great job a breaking the character. The story of Stark’s redemption, while still not entirely finished, has taken over 2 years to tell (If that is not a sign of the amount of damage the other writer’s inflicted on him I don’t know what is). Fraction took his time to tell the story he wanted without taking any shortcuts all the while raising the profiles and fleshing out the characters of Maria Hill and Pepper Potts making them, in my opinion, two of the best female heroes that Marvel has to offer.

As for that “twist” ending: It seems that when Stark rebooted himself with the information on the flash drive he was missing some memories. Turns out that Tony had last backed up his brain just before the time of the Marvel Civil War. You know, write about the same time that those aforementioned writers began to ruin him. Very well played Mr. Fraction. Well played indeed.

Rating: ***½

Title: New Ultimates #1
By: Jeph Loeb and Frank Cho

Blerg…I would like to start off by saying that most people may find this book “entertaining”. As you all know, I am not most people. The one question you are all wanting to know the answer to is “After the critically acclaimed Ultimate X #1 can lighting strike twice in as many months for Jeph Loeb?” Well, I am here to tell you that the answer is a resounding “No“. For the record I thought (with the exception of Art Adams’ art) that Mutant X #1 was a tired, clichéd, boring ass comic. I actually liked it better when it was known as “Superman’s Origin Story”…but I digress.

Though not as painful to read as Ultimates 3 this issue seems to be every bit as useless. My first of two major complaints is that there is an inner monologue (which belongs to Tony Stark) that runs through the WHOLE issue. Loeb did this same thing for a few issues in Hulk recently. The monologue is painfully boring (it’s all about how Stark feels sorry for himself) and at times interrupts what little flow this issue has. The Ultimates version of Tony Stark has always been a self centered prick. Why would I start feeling sorry for him now?

The second major problem I have is that no less than 3 female characters in this comic are treated as sexual objects. And when you want to drive home the point that these women are to ONLY be seen as sexual objects you get Frank Cho to draw them, right? I know Jeph Loeb likes to play to his artists strength’s but this is a bit much. The three female characters I am referring to are:

1. Hela, who will let Thor leave Vahalla only if he impregnates her. There is even a sweet panel where they show her getting almost completely undressed for the fanboys Thor.

2. Zarda, whose only dialogue in this issue consists of her telling Stave Rogers that she wants to fuck him.

3. Carol Danvers, who is the head of S.H.I.E.L.D and is portrayed at the beginning of the book as the only person who will stand up to Tony Stark’s bullshit…which is all apparently all a ruse since we see her half naked in Stark’s bed at the end of the issue.

Ya, I know, this shit is getting really fucking old but you know what? I’ll stop talking about it when Marvel stops pulling this shit. But I’m sure we should just overlook this kinda stuff now that they have a book coming out called Girls Comics. Hypocrites.

Rating:

Title: Ultimate Avengers #5
By: Mark Millar and Carlos Pacheco

Marvel: Mark, I don’t think your version of the Red Skull is evil enough.
M.M.: Really? Him not being a complete psychopath and killing everyone he sees isn’t enough?
Marvel: Nah, seems a bit bland. Can you, you know, take it up a notch?
M.M.: Well, I guess I could throw in a story from his past where he makes a woman choose between her having to kill her husband with a pair of scissors or the Red Skull shooting her infant child.
Marvel: Ummm..that sounds alright. Could you include a panel where you SHOW the Red Skull pressing the gun against the baby’s head?
M.M.: Errr…sure. I’ll go one even better. I’ll have the woman kill her husband with the scissors and then I’ll just have the Skull throw her baby out of an open window to add insult to injury. Hell, I’ll even add a panel of an exterior shot of the building that shows a small red splotch on the ground where the baby landed.
Marvel: I like where this is going. I mean…I REALLY, REALLY like it…but it’s still not enough. Does he have any henchmen with him?
M.M.: I guess he could. Why?
Marvel: Well, we need to drive home the point that he is a nasty fuck.
M.M.: Even more so? Huh…well, I guess I could allude to him and his henchmen gang raping the woman all night.
Marvel: Brilliant. That’s why we pay you the big bucks.
M.M.: Ah, stop. You’re making me blush.

Rating: *

Title: Prelude to Deadpool Corps #1
By: Victor Gishler and Rob Liefeld

Holy shit. The awful writing combined with the Rob Liefeld art make this issue comparable to Onslaught Reborn. I am dead serious, it‘s that sad. You would think with Deadpool being in this comic you may get a laugh of two, right? Nope. Not even close. I will say though that people should read this comic because it is a textbook example of how not to do a comic.

Trees died in order for this comic to see print and that is the fucking saddest thing of all.

Rating: Zero

J.