Title: New Avengers #55
Writer: Brian Bendis
Art: Stuart Immonen and Wade Von Grawbadger
I figured since I did a review of a Jeph Loeb “comic” earlier this week that I might as well review a book from another of the industry’s “top” writers: Brian Bendis. One of the main themes of this issue of New Avengers deals with regret. You know, what you and I both felt after reading Ultimatum #5. Except this time we are not the only ones feeling regret. Nope, so are most of the highlighted characters in this comic.
The story opens with a
clever tired story telling device where Bendis gets to recycle some of his dialogue from New Avengers #50 in the first couple of pages. Readers see, yet again, the Avengers running away with their tails between their legs after narrowly escaping a trap set by Hood & The Gang. Now this is where the clever tired part comes in. We get to see what Hood & The Gang were talking about right after the tussle. How can one writer contain so much genius? What follows is Bendis’ clever tired brand of dialogue which just bores me to tears. Which leads us to:
Regret #1: The Wrecking crew are beginning to lament the fact that they have joined up with the Hood.
After a few pages of petty arguing between them we get to:
Regret #2: Comic fans get a double splash page of Captain America coming home from a hard days night to find his apartment in complete disarray. Not because of a robbery but because of his choice to let the Avengers live with him. He notices unwashed dishes piling up in the kitchen sink, a urine soaked toilet in his bathroom and a passed out Logan on the coach surrounded be crushed beer cans. The look on Cap’s face is fucking priceless.
This is what Bendis’ had decided to turn Captain America into: a god damn fucking joke. Either that or Felix Unger…or both. Why write him as a joke or Felix Unger? How about writing him like he’s CAPTAIN F’N AMERICA!
Regret #3: Spider-Man shows up and finds Jessica Jones feeding her skrull(?) baby. Bet you forgot about that little story arc, huh? Apparently so has Bendis. Anywho, during a conversation between Jessica and Spidey she calls him “Peter”. Annnnd then Spider-Man loses it and starts wondering why the hell he told the Avengers his secret identity in the first place. I am wondering that too Spider-Man. I am wondering that too.
Regret #4: Clint Barton now believes he should not have gone on live television and said all those mean things about Norman Osborn. No, what he thinks he should have done was to have just walked into Avenger’s Tower and KILLED HIM! Really? For Fuck’s sake…
As for the ending to this lovely story? If you have been buying this title for any length of time you already knew it before you even starting reading this issue. The New Avengers jump into a battle head first without a plan…again. They are caught in a trap…again. By a second rate villain…again. And handed a beat down…again.
I love the fact that this entire issue was all about the mistakes that were being made by everyone in this title for the last year’s worth of stories. It’s like Bendis is acknowledging that this book has been nothing but one big damn mistake. Seems like he may be the one who is most filled with regret.