The New Avengers (Guess Who Are the Most Inept Superhero Team in Comics Today) Review

Posted: July 31, 2009 in Marvel, Reviews
Tags: ,

Poop

Title: New Avengers #55
Writer: Brian Bendis
Art: Stuart Immonen and Wade Von Grawbadger
Publisher: Marvel
Price: $3.99

I figured since I did a review of a Jeph Loeb “comic” earlier this week that I might as well review a book from another of the industry’s “top” writers: Brian Bendis. One of the main themes of this issue of New Avengers deals with regret. You know, what you and I both felt after reading Ultimatum #5. Except this time we are not the only ones feeling regret. Nope, so are most of the highlighted characters in this comic.

The story opens with a clever tired story telling device where Bendis gets to recycle some of his dialogue from New Avengers #50 in the first couple of pages. Readers see, yet again, the Avengers running away with their tails between their legs after narrowly escaping a trap set by Hood & The Gang. Now this is where the clever tired part comes in. We get to see what Hood & The Gang were talking about right after the tussle. How can one writer contain so much genius? What follows is Bendis’ clever tired brand of dialogue which just bores me to tears. Which leads us to:

Regret #1: The Wrecking crew are beginning to lament the fact that they have joined up with the Hood.

After a few pages of petty arguing between them we get to:

Regret #2: Comic fans get a double splash page of Captain America coming home from a hard days night to find his apartment in complete disarray. Not because of a robbery but because of his choice to let the Avengers live with him. He notices unwashed dishes piling up in the kitchen sink, a urine soaked toilet in his bathroom and a passed out Logan on the coach surrounded be crushed beer cans. The look on Cap’s face is fucking priceless.

This is what Bendis’ had decided to turn Captain America into: a god damn fucking joke. Either that or Felix Unger…or both. Why write him as a joke or Felix Unger? How about writing him like he’s CAPTAIN F’N AMERICA!

Regret #3: Spider-Man shows up and finds Jessica Jones feeding her skrull(?) baby. Bet you forgot about that little story arc, huh? Apparently so has Bendis. Anywho, during a conversation between Jessica and Spidey she calls him “Peter”. Annnnd then Spider-Man loses it and starts wondering why the hell he told the Avengers his secret identity in the first place. I am wondering that too Spider-Man. I am wondering that too.

Regret #4: Clint Barton now believes he should not have gone on live television and said all those mean things about Norman Osborn. No, what he thinks he should have done was to have just walked into Avenger’s Tower and KILLED HIM! Really? For Fuck’s sake…

As for the ending to this lovely story? If you have been buying this title for any length of time you already knew it before you even starting reading this issue. The New Avengers jump into a battle head first without a plan…again. They are caught in a trap…again. By a second rate villain…again. And handed a beat down…again.

I love the fact that this entire issue was all about the mistakes that were being made by everyone in this title for the last year’s worth of stories. It’s like Bendis is acknowledging that this book has been nothing but one big damn mistake. Seems like he may be the one who is most filled with regret.

J.

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Comments
  1. generaldark says:

    why do i keep buying this damn book????

  2. kurumais says:

    lol love the tag J

    i can see where you are coming from this book should be marvels big guns, bendis even said he redid the line up to be marvel big guns/most popular but he doesnt exactly write them that way
    but i did like quite a bit of the dialog he even has one of the characters point out that these avengers arent up to snuff compared to teams of the past i think wrecker said i love how he puts lines in there ive seen and heard fans say
    i thought it was weird for hawkeye to say he was going to kill stormin norman but i really liked spideys replies and cages i thought buckycap was oddly silent on that issue since i think he is guy that wouldnt mind taking somebody out like that
    i was mystified on the power dampener why did effect hawkeye? does he have some secret power we dont know of? and why bucky cap? a robot arm counts as a power?
    hawkeye has lead the west coast avengers and the thunderbolts he should be better then this
    staurt immonen draws a nice book he did some nice stuff with cap
    has anyone figured out why they brought back mockingbird btw?
    is this a great book no but there is enough here to keep me coming back

  3. i know you have unconditional hate for bendis, but i thought i’d share this piece of awesome from ultimate spider-man in an attempt to de-trollify you 😉

    http://fuckyeahmarvel.tumblr.com/post/153812239/your-mom

    p.s. i haven’t picked this up yet, but i had high hopes for the immonen run on new avengers 😦

    • The Immonen art was fantastic. Probably should have mentioned that. Oops.

      J.

    • Saar says:

      This is unFuckingbelievable, even with the same artist he done, by my opinion, his best work on comics, that I’ve read from him, he continue on writtien those characters in his usually Bedis’s way. The things that spidey say, in this issue, actually sound like something that he will say, but the way those words, he said, were wrote just isn’t good. Bendis fucking suck! take a long long freaking break from comics and then come back!

  4. Saar says:

    This issue was weird… Finally Bendis admit his shitty work he did on this series in his usual childish way of writting, and again every one in this issue “sound” the same.
    The art was much better than Billy Tan inconsistent art.

  5. Rob F says:

    The other problem is that Bendis seems to write less popular characters like Cage and Hood better. But if you’re going to put the ‘big guns’ on the team, you need to be able to write them.

  6. Variant Girl says:

    Jose, love the Odd couple reference LOL, I think Bendis is fucked, he should just stop writing comics and like start a cult or something. Marvel, time to revaluate your writing staff big time.

  7. Zcorp79 says:

    I might go back to New Avengers if they can get a writer who knows how to write these characters right. Someone like Jeff Parker or Jonathan Hickman probably could turn this series around from what Bendis is doing to the series right now.

    • Saar says:

      Jonathan Hickman doesn’t the kind of shitty series that Bendis does.
      If you will go and read his Image staff you will know what series suit to his writting. I think that in Marvel the series that suit him the best are SW (the way he writes it), FF, maybe Agents of Atlas, Daredevil and Thunderbolts.

      • Zcorp79 says:

        I have not read any Hickman’s early work, I was just thinking of two writers that have been doing great team books. That could possibly write the book better than Bendis.

    • I agree with both of those choices but I would really love to see Parker take over this book and make it into something great.

  8. Aelle3 says:

    god at least the art was good this month. I think bendis might actually be a genius. We have had 7 issues and really nothing has happened except the Avengers sitting around and eating, yet the book is still a top seller. You cant really fault the guy. He must have something, i just cant see what it is. I look forward to my bendis epiphany when all his bollocks writing suddenly makes sense and is the most amazing story telling ever.

  9. Aelle3 says:

    oh id like to see Jason Aaron on the book, he is my hero

  10. […] writing the main Avengers book (give it up already, dude) but we also have him continuing to write the most inept superhero team in […]

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