Title : Hulk #13
Writer: Jeph Loeb
Art: Ed McGuinness and Tom Palmer
Price: $3.99 (Cheap!)
After ruining what should have been a milestone event with Incredible Hulk #600 Jeph Loeb brings us yet again another sorry excuse for a comic. Is he really getting paid for this shit? While nothing at all interesting ever happens in his comics, at least Bendis actually has a lot of terrible dialogue to try to hide that fact. In a Jeph Loeb “comic” all we get is sparse (also terrible) dialogue with at least five or six pages taken up by splash/double splash pages and the most pathetic excuse for a a story I have read since Chuck Austen. I apologize. I should not have disrespected Mr. Austen by comparing his writing to that of Mr. Loeb. Loeb really is in a class of his own. This is where the term “horse shit” comes to mind.
Here are some samples of Rick Jones a.k.a. A-Bomb (Fucking Hell what a god awful name) written by top industry writer Jeph Loeb:
“I guess now we know what’d happen if an armadillo and a chameleon had a baby. A real FUGLY baby who’s strong as all get out!”
Or how about this choice line:
While punching Ares in the face, “Maybe not so much, SUCKHA.”
But this one is my favorite:
To Ares, “Think you’re a tough guy–pushing around guys who can’t defend themselves, huh? You’re more like the God of WHATEVER.”
Jeezus! What the fuck does that even mean?! Seriously. I can’t believe people think this is good writing. Is it entertaining? Yes, but sure as hell not the way it was intended. It’s entertaining in the same way All Star Batman and Robin, Battlefield: Earth and Manos: The Hands of Fate are entertaining. It’s the saddest and funniest form of entertainment out there in comics.
To even explain the “story” of this issue will so completely under whelm you it is not even worth mentioning here. The issue is so unnecessary I truly believe that Marvel will never refer to anything that happened here ever again (pretty much like every other issue of Rulk). This comic will insult the intelligence of anyone over the age of 6. It took all of 3 minutes to read this issue and am quite certain that it took even less time to write it. If you think that this is a book worth the $3.99 you paid for it (unless it was solely for the Ed McGuinness art) then fuck you. You are a huge part of what is wrong with the comic industry.
Don’t even get me started on this wholly unoriginal Red She-Hulk and World War Hulks bullshit. That is a topic for another post. One that I look forward to “writing” at some point.