Take a bite outta CHEW!

Posted: February 21, 2010 in CCW Nation, CCW TV
Tags: , , ,

Have you seen my cock?


Here’s how you can: readers of the New York Times Best Selling title know that the only thing that CHEW’s hero can eat without setting off his cibopathic powers is BEETS.

(Personally, I find beets disgusting, but anyhoo…)

To win a copy of CHEW signed by John Layman and personalized to the CCW Nation, COMMENT ON THIS POST and give us your best recipe – real or imagined – that uses beets. Everyone who enters will be put in a random drawing for the books.

Contest ends April 3rd March 6th, 2010. All winners will be notified via the e-mail addresses they gave when registering to comment on the CCW*TV blog.

Warriors Hoooooooo!


  1. MANACONDA! says:

    the best way to eat beets:

    just poach em, or maybe steam them if thats more your bag. squeeze some lemon juice over them and served chilled. delicious!

  2. Pobra says:

    Fried in bacon fat, dipped in molasses and covered with chocolate sprinkles. What?

  3. Dan Griffin says:

    Chicken and Pasta in Beets Sauce.

    One Beet
    Elbow or a macaroni of you’re choice.
    Predue Short Cuts Chicken Breast (Grilled or Honey Roasted)
    A Ball of Garlic.
    One cup water
    1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
    One tablespoon balsamic vinegar

    Cooking it
    Trim Beets leaving 1 inch of stems. Bake Beets in some tin foil for maybe an Hour. Unwarp Beets with care, when beets are cooled slip off skins and stems. Put Beets in a Blender or food Processor with the Soy Sauce, Vinegar, Water, a pinch of Salt and Pepper, and Some cloves of Garlic for some flavor. Tensfer Sauce into a saucepan and keep Warm and Covered.

    Boil water, when water is boiling put Macaroni. Boil until Macaroni is tender and plump.

    Put the short cuts Chicken in Macrowave, and cook as longer as the time says on the box.

    Finaly, throw the Chicken and Macaroni in the Beets Sauce and enjoy.

  4. itsmeMorph says:

    Pickled beets. not much of a recipe but do-able.

  5. generaldark says:

    Beet pancakes!!!

    pancake mix
    and a ear

    put them all into a bowl, mix it. for best result use eggs from a cock you trust 😉

  6. Ironmuskrat says:

    Here is a recipe that Tony Chew might enjoy, but I am afraid it would be difficult for him to find some with chickens being quite illegal and all =)

    Pickled Eggs and Beets

    2 doz. hard boiled eggs
    2 cans med. whole beets
    2 c. sugar
    2 c. vinegar
    1/2 c. pickling spices
    1 jar Aunt Nellie’s whole onions, drained(optional)

    In saucepan, put the sugar, vinegar, juice of beets, and pickling spices; bring to boil. Add beets to this mixture and simmer two minutes. In gallon glass jar, add one dozen shelled eggs, 1/2 jar of onions, and 1/2 of the beet mixture, then the other dozen eggs, remaining onions, and beet mixture. Seal and let set for three days in refrigerator.

    There! now Tony and sit down with a beer and enjoy some chicken eggs without all of those terrible visions of chickens crapping eggs in his head(unless it’s a vision of Poyo, which would a awesome).

    And of course the eggs in this recipe can be substituted with “Gallsaberry” fruit, if no eggs can be found.

    (recipe curiosity of COOKS.COM)


  7. Locusmortis says:

    Beets, oranges, vodka, crushed ice. stick em in a blender, it might taste like hell but if theres enough vodka who fucking cares right?

  8. Comicsketch says:

    beet surprise

    take one beet
    cut the top off the beet and set to one side
    hollow out the bottom part of the beet

    now take some of your black market chicken, mince and lightly fry with a little garlic butter

    when the chicken is ready take a small spoonfull and stuff it inside the hollow beet and stick the top of the beet back on, glueing it in place with some egg yoke

    now you repeat untill you have enough “beats” for your guests
    the FDA will never know and hopefully because theres enough beet encasing the chicken even tony chu wont be able to pick up on it =p

  9. Mike C says:

    I have a friend from the Ukraine and his mother makes this for him, its good ONLY if you like beets:



    * 8 cups beef broth*
    * 1 pound slice of meaty bone-in beef shank
    * 1 large onion, peeled, quartered
    * 4 large beets, peeled, chopped
    * 4 carrots, peeled, chopped
    * 1 large russet potato, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
    * 2 cups thinly sliced cabbage
    * 3/4 cup chopped fresh dill
    * 3 Tbsp red wine vinegar
    * 1 cup sour cream
    * Salt and pepper to taste

    *Use gluten-free broth if you are cooking gluten-free

    1 Bring 4 cups of the beef broth, the beef shank, and onion to boil in large pot. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer until meat is tender, about 1 hour 30 minutes.

    2 Transfer meat to work surface; trim fat, sinew and bone and discard. Chop meat; cover and chill. Cool broth slightly. Chill in pot until cold, at least 4 hours and up to 1 day.

    3 Spoon fat from top of chilled broth and discard. Add remaining 4 cups broth, beets, carrots, and potato; bring to boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer until vegetables are tender, about 30 minutes.

    4 Stir in meat, cabbage and 1/2 cup dill; cook until cabbage is tender, about 15 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Stir in vinegar.

    Ladle soup into bowls. Top with sour cream and remaining 1/4 cup dill.

  10. kurumais says:

    beet chips

    Pre heat oven to 350 degrees, with racks in upper and lower thirds. Peel 2 medium beets and slice to 1/16 inch thickness with a mandoline. In large bowl, toss beets with 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil. On 2 rimmed baking sheets, arrange beets in a single layer. Stack another rimmed baking sheet on top of each. Bake until edges of beets begin to dry out, about 20-25 minutes. Uncover and rotate sheets. bake about another 20 minutes, removing chips as they become lightened in color. Transfer to wire rack; chips will crisp as they cool. Serves 4.
    salt to taste

    my sis in law made these for my nephew poor kid

  11. Here ya go:


    * 2 beets, scrubbed
    * 1 bunch mache (lamb’s lettuce), rinsed and dried
    * 1 bunch arugula, rinsed and dried
    * 2 fresh peaches – peeled, pitted and sliced
    * 2 shallots, chopped
    * 1/4 cup pistachio nuts, chopped
    * 1 (4 ounce) package goat cheese, crumbled
    * 1/4 cup walnut oil
    * 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
    * salt and pepper to taste


    1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Wrap each beet in two layers of aluminum foil, and place onto a baking sheet. Bake in the preheated oven until the beets are tender, about 1 hour and 20 minutes. Allow the beets to cool slightly, then remove the skins. Let the beets cool to room temperature, or refrigerate until cold. Once cooled, thinly slice the beets.
    2. Place the mache and arugula into a large mixing bowl. Add the sliced beets and peaches; sprinkle with the shallots, pistachios, and goat cheese. In a separate bowl, whisk together the walnut oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, and pepper until emulsified, and pour over the salad mixture. Toss well, and serve.

    Enjoy 😉

  12. First get some beets and dip them in chocalate and put them in your mouth and swallow.Then while you still have the taste in your mouth,get some Oreos dip them in milk and eat then put them in your mouth and immediately after put cheetos in your mouth.And after you do that send me the autographed comic.

  13. Spicy Beet Ice Cream. My Mom was telling me about beet ice cream and it sounded… interesting.


    3 large beets
    1 cup orange juice
    12 eggs yolks
    3/4 cup sugar
    2 vanilla beans
    2 1/2 cups cream
    1 cup heavy cream
    1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
    1/4 teaspoon cayenne


    Roast beets in 350-degree oven until tender about 2 hours. Peel and cut into small pieces. Place beets in blender with orange juice and puree until smooth. Split vanilla beans, scrape, and add seeds to the cream and scald. Whisk together the egg yolks and sugar and then stir into the cream mixture. Stir over low heat until mixture begins to thicken, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in remaining ingredients. Let ice cream chill in cooler. Turn in an ice cream maker and serve.

  14. […] a reminder that today is the deadline to enter our contest to win an AUTOGRAPHED COPY of the “New York Time’s Best-Selling” Comic […]

  15. Tsumiaki says:

    Dried beets.
    Slice beets and place on tray. Set oven between 150-250 and place in oven. Let dry for several hours until chewy.

  16. Mitiators says:

    Doesn’t Dwight Schrute make beet vodka? Can’t be any worse than Silver Wolf.

  17. AvS says:


    – 2 Beets
    – 1 Hobo (with coat pockets)
    – Dust


    1. Give the Hobo the 2 beets. Making sure he/she places the beets in his/her coat pocket. If Hobo does not have a coat give the poor guy/gal a coat!

    2. Let the Hobo travel the country side with the beets in his/her coat pocket for no less than 6 months. Travel by railroad car is preferable. NO HITCHHIKING BY CAR!

    3. After 6 months of Hobo travel acquire the beets from said Hobo making sure the beets are dusty.

    4. Have a seat and enjoy one of the beets while the Hobo enjoys the second beet. Bon appetit!

  18. Nerdling, The Geek Wonder says:


    1 Beet

    Table Salt


    1. Put salt on beet.
    2. Eat beet.

  19. Tim Grimstead says:

    Elliot and Jose’s MARVELous Stew

    – Large Beet
    – Spider Woman webisode downloaded to disk.
    – Any Issue of Dark Avengers, New Avengers, or Mighty Avengers your not saving for toilet paper.
    – Whole Old man Logan series
    – All Secret Invasion tie-ins
    – And to just spice it up DC’s Battle for the Cowl!!!!
    First Order a Pizza.
    Then thoroughly soak all ingredients except the large beet and the SpiderWoman Webisode in hot water.
    While ingredients soak. Place the SW webisode on your counter top and beat it forcefully with your Beet. After you have Beet’n Spider Woman to your liking ( Channel Bendis ).
    Place all Ingredients in a very large Blender. Run blender on it’s highest setting for about 3 minutes. Your blended stew should have a dark, lumpy, pulpy consistency. Once this is done carry your finished MARVELous stew over to the trashcan. Empty all it’s contents into the trashcan ( I mean really..who wants this garbage anyways?)
    Go answer the door cause your pizza’s here. Throw in the Watchmen movie, grab a beer and enjoy!

  20. ozwald reginald says:

    my favorite beet recipe is actually very simple. boil them up and all you need to do is add 2 tb spoons of sugar. they come out delicious. just chop up the beet into trenches and they’re ready to serve.

    after that, grab some spinash leaves, diced red onions, chopped mushrooms, a minced garlic clove, and mix it with apple vinegar and olive oil and a tiny bit of salt for an awesome beet sauce and VOILA! ready to serve

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